My Stressful Stress Test

I hope I’m ok!

Yesterday I had a nuclear stress test. The word “nuclear” is a bit unsettling, considering what’s happening in the world these days. Maybe the doctor wanted to see if I was radioactive?

Because there are heart problems in my family, this was one of many cardiac tests that he ordered. But cancer is much more prevalent among my siblings. Don’t they have tests for that?

Having a stress test can be a bit unnerving. I wasn’t sure what to expect. I did some reading about it, but all it did was stress me out. Isn’t that ironic?

I felt like a drug addict when it started. The guy sat me down, asked a few questions, and then stuck a needle in my arm. Apparently it dispenses some unpronounceable dye which helps to illuminate the chambers of your heart. But my heart is way too sensitive and I cry easily. I wonder if this dye shows that?

He then sent me back into the waiting room until the dye circulated before he would take the first round of pictures.

While I’m waiting for the dye to do its job, the TV displays a news station. What does that do? It creates stress and anxiety for all of us who are sitting there undergoing a stress test.

Why couldn’t they put on some aquarium show? Or how about Lassie, elephants mating, or Father Knows Best? Most of us in the waiting room were over 65, so those shows would relax us and ensure that the results of a stress test would be more favorable.

I have two bad knees so I had the reclining version of the stress test. As he inserted the drug into my IV portal, I could feel my heart start to race. It was almost like I was watching a scary movie or wondering whether a burglar was about to break into my house.

While my heart was pounding, he attached electrodes to measure my cardiac activity. At least the technician was cute and friendly. I even got to practice a few Spanish phrases I’d learned over the years, which was a good ice-breaker.

I was then sent back to the waiting room to endure more of that political news show. My heart was still galloping like I had run a few miles.

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