The art of having a sustainable relationship

Relationship is like a journey that a person embarks on. In this journey, one gets an opportunity to discover both the bright and dark side of themselves and their partner. If the travel is safe, healthy and comfortable the beautiful destination of marriage is reached.

Often people find themselves in dreaded situations in a relationship which lead to breakups. How to avoid such situations? There are certain things which every human being in a relationship must consider doing. I’m not suggesting that these things will sow the seeds for a successful relationship. But you will give yourself a better chance of having a healthy and long- term relationship.

Be honest

Every relationship centres around a simple concept called “ trust “. This trust is established over a period of time. The key to attain the trust of your partner is honesty. Trust is directly proportional to honesty. Let me give a couple of simple examples.

Consider a scenario where you know that you are going to be late for a date. Instead of trying to cover it up later with a lame excuse, tell your partner politely that you might take a little longer than expected to reach, for whatever reason.

Now, supposing you look at someone and find him/her attractive and you accidentally end up flirting with that person, it is not wrong. It is human tendency to consistently seek for attractions. Tell this to your partner openly ( when they’re in a good mood of course ) as opposed to hiding it from them. Indeed, you are not going to be treated with gifts for committing such an act. But I can guarantee you he/she would understand the fact that you were willing to be honest about it. This certainly helps to increase the trust.

From the above two instances one thing is common. A mistake is committed. People often think that mistakes lead to problems in a relationship. But it is actually the fact that the mistake gets hidden which serves as a killer.

Avoid texting during a fight

Fights are a part and parcel of a relationship. There isn’t a single person out there who can confidently come out and say that “ I have never fought with my partner “. When you cannot avoid fights, you must consider doing the next best thing, which is to resolve it as soon as possible.

The solution to any fight is quite simple. Talk it out. Yes, you just have to talk openly and resolve it. By talking, I actually mean “ talking “ and not “ texting”. Texting is the worst thing one can do in a fight. Why is that so ? It is because during a fight the brain does not function as well as it normally does. As a result of which text messages frequently get misinterpreted which leads to further complications. Furthermore, it is very easy to show both anger and ego over text than over a call or meeting in person. The sarcastic usage of happy emojis is the worst part of it all. So cut the crap, leave aside your ego and just call your partner to sort out the issue.

Hold yourself in the heat of the moment

At times, in the middle of an argument or a fight your partner may actually say something which hurts. There are two ways one reacts to this kind of a situation. One is to rage at your partner right away, which ends up putting the necessary amount of kerosene on the burning fire. The other, which is dangerous, is to keep the wound inside and not react at all. As the wounds keep adding up, so does the anger and ego. When this bursts eventually, it leads to calamitous consequences.

What is it that we can do if and when our partner hurts us ? Every single person must understand the fact that no one wants to intentionally hurt their loved ones. So when you encounter such a situation, be patient. Do not react instantly. It would be wise to wait for the situation to calm down or for that matter to wait for a day or two and then casually say to your partner that you were hurt by this action of theirs, in a conversation. Also let them know that you waited to talk about this as you did not want to increase the tension. This would make them feel guilty and they will actually try to make sure that it does not happen again. It will also increase the respect as you tried to control the situation despite the fact that you were hurt.

Understanding the mood swings

This one is exclusively meant for men. Mood swings are something every human being has. But there is something which every woman goes through every month in her life – periods. It is imperative for the men to be there with their partner then. Unfortunately, most men consider this a taboo. That is utter hogwash to say the least. Every man has to understand the biological and psychological aspect of what their better halves are going through in that time. You need to ignore all the mood swings and just ensure that you shower love and love only. If you do that, it definitely helps to increase the bonding in a relationship to unfathomable levels.

Share every moment of your sadness

Yes, you read that right. Sharing sadness with your loved ones has far- reaching impact as opposed to sharing happiness. Often in a relationship, one person tends to reflect the mood of the other. This is a very common thing between two people who are in love with each other. Now, if you don’t share your sadness, you invariably end up spoiling the mood of your partner too as they can definitely get the sense of it.

Alternatively, if you let your partner know why you’re sad, you give them an opportunity to help you. You will feel better and the mood gets lifted as well. This also increases the love for your partner as he/she was there with you when you needed him/ her the most. So give your loved ones the chance to be there for you when you need them most.

Relationship is the biggest gift life gives to each and every one of us. Embrace it and do everything you can to reach “ the destination “.

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